Conflict & The Reflection of Our Inner Masculine

Conflict. It seems to permeate every area of my life. The carefully honed balance and peace have been overtaken by conflict, uncertainty, scarcity, and a line of fear running underneath each of those. This wasn't me three weeks ago. I'd prefer to place responsibility for this change on something external. Because then once that situation resolves, so does the conflict, right? That would be nice and easy, and I laugh even writing that scenario.

I know that's not how this works. I know the external situation is only a mirror reflecting back internal beliefs which are so deep and so subtle that it takes a very stressful, scary event to trigger them out of the darkness. And in this case, it was someone else's response to that event and the ongoing circumstances around it that ultimately cracked open my carefully cultivated peace.

Ah, there I go again. It is sublimely worded, yet that last sentence puts the responsibility and therefore the power squarely on that external experience. Yes, I am an empath and that certainly weighs into the dynamic I am describing. However, it is not black and white, this or that. To relegate this to simple duality is to negate the importance of its layers, its intricacies.

For ultimately, the conflict permeated my life because of my response. It wasn't immediate. It didn't begin with an abrupt jump into that energy. It began with my actions to “stand up for myself”. It began with brief statements made defensively. They began to link together, energetically forming a resonance with conflict; climaxing with an angry, aggressive reaction which locked in the frequency. The frequency of victimhood, of doubt, of lack, and fear.

The energetic space I nurtured and protected was overtaken with these energies. There I go again. Let's restate this. I reacted, made choices, gave my power away. Those are what chipped away at my peace, my balance, my sovereignty. By engaging in the conflict energy, I handed all of those over to someone else. The other person, of course, was not consciously aware of this, but certainly they felt empowerment in the exchange. Because relinquishing those energies is a transfer of personal abundance.

This is the downward spiral of conflict. Once engaged with, once that resonance and coherence of energies is obtained, the frequency of it seeps throughout your experience. The confirmation of this repercussion came through a statement. "We cannot find solutions without conflict." Made by another to me, this statement shook me to my core.

That it was even in my field of reality should have been a red flag for where my energy was vibrating. Although that realization hit many days later, the moment of that statement sparked reflection whose results I share upon these pages.

Conflict. Can we reach solutions to problems without it? Yes, we can. Conflict differs from contrast. It differs from discord and disagreement. Conflict implies a fight against something or someone. I hear some of you out there saying I'm mincing words. You're right. I am. Because this is a subtlety that is incredibly important. Especially now. Especially now.

We must get clear on what our energetic frequencies are aligning to. To engage in conflict, in the fight, is to immediately give our power away. To engage in conflict is to embrace the belief the basis of it has the ability to define your reality.

Strength and integrity are not in the fight. They are in the choice to stand in the face of conflict and choose equanimity. To choose our truth so powerfully that there is nothing to defend. There is nothing to battle. There is nothing to argue. There is only truth. Don't take that as a “My truth is better than your truth” type of declaration. No, this truth is wrapped around your sovereignty. This truth is grounded in love. And it does not judge. It does not blame. It does not seek to alter another's truth. Period.

The unfolding of this led me even deeper. Deeper into my relationship with the masculine. My history with masculine energies is scarred by old wounds, abuses, betrayals, subjugation. This is fact. The defensiveness and sharpness in my reaction when faced with disrespect, diminutive generalities, and misogyny show me clearly that those hurts are still restricting my relationship with the masculine. If I fall back on them to determine how I interact with the masculine going forward, they still hold power over me.  A reclamation of self-sovereignty never begins with "but they hurt me."

And in this recognition, I suddenly see that this is represented throughout the Collective.

Conflict. The rising of the divine feminine is to “take back her power”, therefore putting the divine masculine “in his place”, right?  No. Battering, demeaning, blaming, and shaming the masculine, regardless of who it comes from and who it is aimed towards, is a repeat of the same behavior we are supposedly fighting. Can we see how it is the fight, the conflict, that is not leading us to solution, but recycling and amplifying the problem?

To go deeper once again, this mirroring is not only external; it never is. The reaction we have to the masculine externally is the same reaction we have to our own divine masculine energies. Why are we fighting with him, demonizing him, shaming him? Wasn't he there with us all along? Didn't he experience the same traumas, wounds, abuses, betrayals? Why do we continue to punish him for infractions for which he was not responsible?

In our quest for balance, we cannot embrace the conflict and cover it with illusions of empowerment and righteousness. These are the same energies which were utilized to suppress the feminine. She will not evolve into the divine feminine through those same pathways.

The healthy masculine is steadfast, protective, compassionate, takes inspired action, holds space for expression, creates structure and stability, is a just leader, plans, and repairs. Embodiment of all these traits is necessary for any of us to be a balanced human. To ignore these and even worse, to squash them through a belief system which states the masculine is synonymous with violence, unfairness, punishment, destruction, manipulation, dishonesty, defensiveness and control is to castrate the divine masculine within ourselves.

A balanced human has an equal ebb and flow of divine feminine and divine masculine energies. To hold on to thought and behavior patterns born from trauma and distrust is to ensure we continue to walk in conflict against each other. Walking in peace only comes when our own divine masculine and divine feminine stride hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder.

Through the expression of these words, I feel the conflict within disintegrating.  And with its dissolution, the peace returns.  The magic in the combination of the feminine expression and the masculine assertiveness is a balm and a bridge to rebalancing and reclaiming Me. May the frequencies of this medicine open a similar shift within all of us.

If you’d like to explore this topic further, please join me for an upcoming live workshop.  We will discuss this theme further, share insights on how to recognize and integrate points of restriction within, and answer questions offered.  Follow the link below and turn on your notifications to receive details on this live workshop.

https://youtube.com/live/8zTbPEcjI-A?feature=share